I just signed the final documents to file for divorce. I don’t think I’m supposed to feel this happy about it. I don’t celebrate the death of a marriage, but I do celebrate an ending of what should have never been. We’ve been separated for nearly 8 years with many opportunities to reconcile. How can you reconcile if one party is so unyielding?
Divorce does not bring closure.
Divorce does not bring healing.
Divorce lies and tells you that it is finally over, but it is not.
Regardless of the details and justification for the divorce, divorce is hard. It’s a failure. Lives are hurt and wounds run deep. Even extended family and friends are caught in the crosshair.
I never realized how much my failed marriage affected my close relationships with everyone else. When my child or a friend hurts me, it gashes wide open all the wounds that just began healing. My loved ones do not deserve my irrational knee-jerk but they get it anyway. I have to work so hard to overcome this.
For now, I will be happy that my legal obligation is almost to the end. I know that the relationship with my husband, ex-husband, will always be there. I will wish him well and continue to be the best person and mother I can be.