Don’t Hate Me Because I’m A Logophile.

Do you even know what a logophile is? No you don’t. It’s not someone who loves logos. Or legos. And, it’s not creepy. I promise. A logophile is a lover of words according to Merriam-Webster. Admittedly, it’s a bit nerdy. I blame my grandparents for this problem. They both were English majors and educators.

My grandmother was incessant about correcting grammar. She was so to blame. We, my siblings and I, were her grandbabes, her cherubs. Instead of cossetting us, she chided every other word out of our mouths. Alas, we are indebted to her revisal. As a result, my siblings and I can promulgate our vocab attainment with little effort. Our pretentiousness is irksome, but charming. Don’t you think?

I also blame my grandfather. He had a dictionary that was over 18″ in girth. As tender progeny, each of us took turns sitting a top said dictionary in an effort to reach the table during meals. Osmosis must have occurred, albeit via our posteriors, enhancing our adulation of words. I admit that I was disconsolate upon my dethroning when my younger sisters began using the makeshift cathedra. Frankly, I thought it rude that I had to relinquish my dictionary-seat just because I gained altitude when my sisters had not. It did not seem equitable.

Over the years, I culled a list of cherished words to share with you. I welcome you to seek happenstance to utilize at least one of these words in your daily vocabulary. Once the word falls from your lips, watch as the bewilderment passes over your companion’s face. They’ll be so enamored that they’ll never play Scrabble with you again. They’ll also discern that you’re above-average intelligence and will want to flock to you in hopes that your smarts will drip onto them.

Without further ado, here’s my Top 10 of stupendous words:

10. Homunculus
9. Enumeration
8. Truncate
7. Borborygmus
6. Fard
5. Macaronic
4. Agape (Greek)
3. Camelopard
2. Hemidemisemiquaver
1. Heliotrope

So yes, the dictionary-seat taught me how to talk out of my ass. Therefore, no one should pay any attention to me. Oh wait.

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Go Home Street Sign. You’re Drunk.

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Bottomless What?

Every once in a while (AND only on a Friday), I treat myself to a bagel.  I’m a carb-o-whorevore.  Bread is my thing.  Today, I stopped at Bruegger’s Bagels on the Crosstown.  This is not my first choice for bagels, but it’s on my way to work, therefore, convenient.  I usually go inside because 1) I think drive-thrus are for lazy people and 2) the drive-thru is always soooooo looooooong. Today, I went through the drive-thru as there were no cars and was feeling a bit lazy.

How convenient!  Brueggers Bagels was so gracious to paste this oxymoronic flyer to the speaker for my viewing pleasure. Please, please forgive me that I did not get a better photo, but hopefully, you can make out the contradiction.

bottomless