Writing a blog is hard work. Do you know how much research I have to do just to entertain you people? Okay fine. No, I don’t have to do all this research. The truth is that I’m slightly anal about details. Are you happy now that I admitted it?
I digress. If you read my blog, you may have noticed that if you hover over most of the titles, a description will pop-up. If you did not know this, then STOP right now and hover. Maybe it’s not that funny to you, but I give myself stomachaches from ROFLMAO. Literally. Yes, literally. I’m freakin’ funny! I fell off the sofa during one of these laughing fits and hurt the dog. Hey! I’m all ’bout bein’ honest, yo.
So, I’m writing the description for the category “So Ugly That It’s Cute”, which is a category for this very blog entry. I remember that there is a contest for “World’s Ugliest Dog”. I opened my brain and dove into its darkest recesses to remember the name of the breed that wins A-LOT. The name of the breed eludes me, but I can picture it. It’s an ugly, small chihuahua-like dog with it’s way-too-long-tongue that hangs so low, it trips over it and a tuft of hair on the top of its head. Despite racking my brain so hard that I nearly throw-up from the massive headache, I Google. Oh Google, how I love thee. The breed that I’m looking for is the Chinese Crested Dog. It’s time to stop reading and visit this website. Yes, really. Do it right now. You’ll laugh so much, you’ll add years back to your life because laughter is the best medicine.
After I pulled myself together from the all-out-laugh-fest, I figured that everyone already knew that I was talking about the Chinese Crested so I needed another modifier to add to the description. I thought, “Self, what other animals did God create that are ugly”? God answered so quickly that I didn’t have to hurt myself. Thank you Lord. He reminded me of the cats that are hairless. Yes, hairless. Well fine. How could I possibly know that you already knew that one too? I’m just trying to offer a bit of community service here. Jeez!
I found a website that offered six (yes, six) different breeds of the hairless cats. Oh my word. I had no idea. No. Idea. Did you know that there are short-legged, hairless cats?! I know! Mind blown, right?!?! But don’t call them dwarf cats. That’s not allowed, you jerk. I’ve said before that some things can be so ugly that they’re cute. But sometimes, just sometimes, there are things out there that are just so ugly, they’re ugly.
So, here’s the inspiration for this blog entry. I stumbled upon this while browsing the world of hairless cats and “Little Shop of Horrors” caterpillars. Go ahead, take a minute to absorb.
Do you see it’s fang? Holy smack-a-doodle, Batman. What is that thing?!
While exploring this amazing site of the web, my brain has now imploded (ignore that it previously exploded) from the gravity of freakishly-freak animals out there. Ladies and Gentlemen. It is now time to leave you with a parting gift. Please allow me to introduce you to . . .